Monologue Changes

The monologue section in our film, we just learnt, is probably the most important part in portraying what is actually happening in the storyline. We were told by Mr Andrews that our story is as clear as it could be so we manipulated the wording and information that we exposed through this monologue that Charlie speaks to make the link between the Rumpelstilskin storyline even more clear.

This is the monologue before the change. 

Charlie:

Detective Stilts. I’ve been working on this project for 3 months. Company Name: SpinStraw Incorporated. Founder: Veronica King. Accomplice: Anna.. Unknown sir name.    Their company forges money and assassinates anyone who finds out about it. I’m in a risky situation.  Anna has blackmailed me to hep her take over the illegal business by finding dirt to blackmail Veronica. I have a feeling that Veronica knows what’s happening. I could potentially be killed but the money I’m getting is too good to back out now. 

This is the monologue after the moderation.

Charlie:

I’ve been working undercover on this case for 3 months with limited success.

Veronica King a wealthy… appears to be in charge. Her accomplice Anna is trying some kind of power play. They are counterfeiting and laundering money through a number of shell companies. Anyone who stands in their finds their employment…. terminated. I’m in a risky situation. Anna knows who I am and has blackmailed me to help her push Victoria out. I have a feeling that Veronica knows what’s happening. Anna is pushing me hard.I feel like she expects me to spin straw into gold. I could potentially be killed but the money I’m getting is too good to back out now. 

I feel like now the information that we're getting across is clearer and very relevant to what is happening.